How Asha Found Courage to Choose Herself
by Nikki Reen
Asha* began to understand what she wanted from life at a tender age of 13. Like all teenagers, she was not sure, but knew that she was different. Her parents were forcing her to lead a life of tradition and what they considered honor and upholding the family’s values. When she expressed that she was a lesbian, she was rebuked. Her family circumstances did not allow anyone to understand her conflict and pain, let alone support her in any way. Rather, at home she faced verbal abuse and blackmail along with efforts to force her to change her sexual orientation. Ultimately, she was considered a burden; someone who needed to be married and go to her husband’s home.
Asha was married at 19 against her wishes, family and society deciding on a life she should lead. All she could think of was the impending idea of being physical with her husband. She could not take the pressure and thought of running away from her husband’s house.
One day, Asha gathered her courage. She left everything behind—her husband’s home, her family’s expectations—and came to Sambhali Trust.
As part of Sambhali Trust’s comprehensive approach to empowerment, the Nirbhaya (“Fearless”) project seeks to prevent gender-based violence and provide support for survivors. The project provides safe shelter, counseling, and legal support for women and girls escaping gender-based violence, forced marriage, and abuse. Last year alone, Nirbhaya staff fielded 530 calls from people across the state of Rajasthan and provided direct services to 132 people in Jodhpur. These services include aid in filing police complaints, direct legal assistance, and trauma and family counseling. Nirbhaya also delivers a robust educational program, reaching nearly 6,000 people each year through workshops and outreach to women and members of the LGBTQ+ community about their legal rights and the support available through Sambhali Trust. Together, Sambhali’s holistic suite of programs offers a secure environment to heal, rebuild confidence, and access education and vocational training, helping survivors create independent and dignified lives.
The Sambhali Trust team made sure Asha felt safe and welcomed. They gave her a warm bed, nourishing food, and something she had been desperately craving: a place free of judgment.
Nirbhaya’s psychologist, Dr. Deepti Rajota, spent hours talking with her, listening with compassion as Asha recounted her story. Then lawyer Shivani Singh explained her legal rights. Slowly, the tension released and Asha began to feel at ease. Once she was able to settle a little and learn ways to deal with her trauma, the Sambhali Trust team reached out to her family, inviting them to visit under staff supervision.
Through counseling sessions, Asha opened up about the deep wounds left by her parents’ treatment and non-acceptance of her sexual orientation, about how she was led to despair and even threatened to harm herself, overwhelmed by hopelessness. Dr Deepti sat with Asha through numerous counselling sessions, reminded her of her rights, and that her life and choices are hers alone. Knowing that Sambhali Trust would stand by her legally and emotionally helped Asha restore her courage.
Today, Asha dreams of returning to school, becoming completely self-reliant and living the rest of her life as who she is, free from hiding or fear.
It is in these courageous stories of resilience and aspiration that Sambhali Trust finds its true mission: to hold space for women and girls to discover their strength, and to remind them, always, that they are not alone.
* Name has been changed for confidentiality purposes.